But I am not a slave to them!
I feel this is such an important lesson for me in this season in my life. And as someone once told me, “What’s most personal is most universal”… so I figured I would share with you all my thoughts on the subject.
I used to be one of those girls who’d “blame it on Mercury Retrograde”. I’d curse the cycles. OF COURSE I didn’t get that promotion or my relationship didn’t work out- it was Retrograde. How’s a person to survive? Little did I realize through all the over-thinking, the analyzing, the lack of confidence I had in decision making was what was messing me up. The energy I was putting out into the universe was discombobulated. I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t even know how I wanted to FEEL. All I knew was that if something got effed up, well man, that’s just the cycles.
That’s just not how things work.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing astrology. I wouldn’t know how to read a chart or even tell you… well, I can’t even make up something witty. That’s just how little I understand astrology. However, for all the intricacies and amazing correlations the stars and the heavens relate to my day to day life, I can’t just go around acting like a chicken with it’s head cut off because of some planetary alignment I have no control of. I think that’s the key thing to point out here- Control. I mean, life will continue to keep life-ing away day after day, no matter what. And sometimes we get extremely stuck in our human conditions. It’s easy to blame things we have no control of over something MUCH larger that we have no control of. We forget that we’re just continually having an experience.
It’s time to stop glorifying our issues and problems over planetary alignments.
Seriously people, let’s take responsibilities for ourselves. For our life. Do it for your heart (and peace of mind) for God’s sake!
Still think I’m being too optimistic? Here’s a story for you:
Daniel and I had been given a situation. The cards were not dealt in our favor, and we found out we had about 45 days to figure out where to move from our cozy, comfy house in a very desirable part of the Silicon Valley. Due to our situation, we pretty much had a rent controlled situation. I was at the cusp of visioning how I wanted my business to look. I literally had JUST put down a deposit for a 10 week course in studying to be a spiritual practitioner (for a commitment of 3-4 years as I thought I’d be setting roots down for once!). Daniel’s business was getting us by, however we were at the very beginning stages of transferring his business online. And within all that – we had to figure out where to find an extra $2300 a month for rent (for a not so comfy 1 bedroom apartment in a less than desirable neighborhood). We had to figure out where to go. I found myself crying in our beautiful custom made walk in closet, sobbing away saying, “We can’t afford to be together!! We can’t afford to live together”. Guess what. It wasn’t even retrograde. It was just life.
18 long days later a friend of Daniels suggested we consider staying at his vacation rental in a beach town in Mexico. YEAH RIGHT. Like I’m moving to Mexico – I thought for a split second. But to be honest- it was the ONLY option that got me excited. It felt do-able. I didn’t know what the heck I’d do. How I’d survive. But I had saved up enough money to help pay for all of our baggage, get our dog Gus Gus down there and help pay for groceries and rent. Ok. We can do this.
We said goodbye to the old house in Campbell, California. Closed the door one last time. Turned the lock – hopped into the moving truck and drove away. We spent a good 5 days driving from Northern California to Southern California. Got comfortable at my mom’s place in Palm Springs. Unpacked and repacked. Said adios to the US and moved out of the country to create a new life as expats in Mexico. The funny thing? We moved in the height of retrograde, during a new moon.
It’s been 6 months and I have to say although there have been challenges and obstacles, it’s taught us lessons about ourselves and how to navigate our way through our partnership. We’re thriving. Life treats us with so many blessings and gifts. And I think that’s what we need to focus on.
Quit kicking yourself over things you can’t control. Remember. This is just an experience.